Luke and Lorelai (Or is it Lorelai and Luke?)
by Javalass
Summary: Luke and Lorelai hit heads and swap bodies! Spin off to Get Out of my Head but L/L version.


AN: Hello, everybody. Thanks for the wonderful reviews you gave me for GOOMH. I'm not going to do a sequel for it, but I hope you'll settle for a spin-off. This is the Java Junky friendly version!

Jess: As for the Stephanie Plum novels, I'm gonna go to my library and get it!

Disclaimers: There's nothing in this story that I own. I think. Well, I've only written the first chapter, so maybe I'll invent something later and stick it in.

"Luke. Coffee" Lorelai ordered.

"No."

"I hate you."

"Pancakes?" he offered.

"Oh, yes please!"

"And we're friends again,' he said to himself as he went into the kitchen.

Five minutes later, Luke placed a plate of warm blueberry pancakes in front of her.

"Luke. Coffee," Lorelai ordered.

"Since when has that tactic worked?" said Luke as he wiped down the counter.

"Please?"

"No!"

"C'mon, please?"

"No."

"I'll be your best friend," Lorelai whined.

"Is that a threat?"

"Pleeeeease?"

"And we're back to please again," said Luke tossing the cloth over his shoulder. "I'll tell you what. You think of an original line, and then I'll give you coffee."

"Original?" Lorelai questioned.

"As in you can't have already used it on me," Luke clarified.

"Okay, you're on."

Lorelai tilts her face up towards the ceiling as she thinks.  Luke looks on with interest.

"Luke, you've gotta help me!" she cries out dramatically. "I haven't had any coffee in the past 24 hours!"

"No good," said Luke shaking his head. "You used that one last Tuesday. And besides, it's a lie. You came in for coffee this morning."

"Oh, so now it has to be the truth, as well as being original. You ask for too much," Lorelai complained.

"Next!"

"Okay, I have this heart disease," Lorelai starts.

"Nope. I remember that one from last year," said Luke, rejecting it with a sweep of his arm. "An improvement though."

"What are you, an elephant?" Lorelai said in disgust. "I thought you wouldn't remember that one."

"Is that the best you've got? Cos I've got other customers waiting…" Luke threatened.

"Noooo! Just let me think! Think Lorelai, think!" she said to herself as she banged her fist against her head. "PLEASE!" she begged, grabbing hold of a handful of plaid flannel.

"Tapped out already?" Luke asked, gently removing her hands from his shirt.

"I can't think with this much pressure!"

"Then you can't get your coffee," said Luke, shaking his head in mock sorrow.

"How about one sip? Just to get my brain working," she pleaded.

"Nope."

"Tyrant."

"Addict."

"Gaah!" she cried, her head collapsing in defeat on her folded arms. Then her head snapped up. "Oh, I know. Chanting!"

"Pardon?" Luke asked.

"Coffee. Coffee. Coffee," she chanted, banging her fists on the counter.

The bell above the door chimed as Rory entered the diner, a newspaper under her arm.

"Mom, what are you doing?" she asked, taking the stool next to her.

"Getting coffee," Lorelai replied, as if it was obvious.

"Think again," said Luke, placing a muffin in front of Rory.

"But I've never chanted before," Lorelai protested.

"Christmas '96," Luke stated.

"Darn it!" Lorelai swiped the top of Rory's muffin and shoved half of it in her mouth. "Oh, I got it!" she cried through a mouthful of muffin. She quickly swallowed. "Rory, you start chanting."

"Okay," Rory agreed, clearing her throat. "Coffee. Coffee. Coffee."

Lorelai waited half a beat before joining in.

"Enough!" Luke yelled.

"Ha! I've never done out of sync chanting before," Lorelai said. "Hand it over, Loser!"

Luke begrudged her a cup off coffee.

"Hey, I chanted too," Rory pointed out.

"You heard her," Lorelai enforced. "Give her the coffee."

"No, I put my foot down!" Luke said. "Enough! Rory, you will not grow properly if you drink that stuff."

"I'm 5'7"."

"Your teeth will go yellow."

"Nope. Nine years of drinking it and my teeth are white. See?" she bared her teeth at him.

"Your heart will beat too fast."

"Hey, the faster my heart beats, the sooner I get more oxygen. What else ya got?"

"You'll get bad after-coffee-breath."

"Only if I stop drinking it."

"You'll…Your teeth…You shouldn't-"

"Aah, the three-starters-no-sentence rule, hand it over!" Lorelai cried.

"The what?" Luke asked.

"Remember? Back in April you said that if you ever started a sentence three times you'd give us coffee."

"I didn't say that. YOU said that," Luke pointed out.

"Details smetails."

"And I didn't even agree," Luke continued.

"That would bring into effect the what-I-say-goes rule," Lorelai said.

"You've created your own perfect world, haven't you?"

"And I don't even make you pay tax for living in it. Don't you think that deserves something?"

"Here, take your coffee," Luke grunted, slamming the pot on the counter. "I'm going to the storage room."

"Wait! You forgot my mug!" Rory yelled after him.

"She'll have to drink straight from the pot!" Lorelai added.

"Actually, I see no problem with that!" said Rory, moving the pot so it was in front of her.

"Hey, what have I told you about sharing, missy?"

"Don't do it unless there's something in it for you," said Rory.

"I'll…let you wear my purple turtleneck sweater," Lorelai offered.

"You mean MY purple turtleneck sweater?" Rory corrected.

"I've gotta stop claiming things that aren't mine," Lorelai thought aloud. "Yoink!" she said as she snatched the pot away from Rory.

Three minutes later:

"Rory, we're out of coffee!" said Lorelai, showing her the empty pot.

"What do you want me to do about it? You're the adult."

"Oh, so NOW I'm the adult. Not what you said yesterday," Lorelai reminded her.

"Go get Luke," Rory demanded.

"Fine! I'll go in my three-inch heels and walk ALL the way over to the storage room, while you sit here in your FLAT saddle shoes and devour my pancakes," Lorelai said.

"Sounds like a plan," said Rory, ignoring her mother's sarcasm and starting in on the pancakes.

"What kind of child does what she's told?" Lorelai mumbled, sliding off the stool.

"Luke? Hello Luuuuke?" Lorelai peered into the storage room and waved the empty pot around. "Mr Coffeeman, we're out of coffee!"

"I came here to get AWAY from you," Luke said, appearing from behind a pile of cardboard.

"Well it didn't work. Better luck next time," said Lorelai putting the pot on a shelf and helping herself to a packet of chocolate chips.

"How many times have I told you, it's not safe in here-" Luke started.

"I know, your insurance doesn't cover me, yadda yadda yadda."

"So…" said Luke, nodding his head towards the door.

"Yeah yeah, I get the point," said Lorelai, sitting herself on a stepladder.

"Disagreeing here," Luke said.

"No, I got the point," Lorelai argued. "I'm just ignoring the point."

"Well, make yourself useful," said Luke, handing her the cutting knife.

"I get to use the fun cutter thingy? Score!"

"Just be careful," Luke warned.

"I'll have you know I was a safety monitor from grades two to three," said Lorelai, cutting the nearest box open.

"What happened after grade three?"

"Slight problem. Apparently they don't like eight year olds carrying axes when there's a fire drill…"

"Go figure," said Luke, helping her to unpack her box.

"Luke, be careful of that box."

"What box?" Luke asked. As he turned to look at Lorelai on the way to a shelf, he tripped over a box that lay in his path.

"Luke, look out!"

His body rammed against a shelf, causing numerous jars of pickles and mayonnaise to shower down on the two of them. They both fell to the floor, knocking each other out on the way down.

AN: If you've read Get Out of my Head, you'll know what's coming next…

Please review if you have time.


End file.
